Creating a Life beyond Recognition!

A New Tomorrow!

God, I've lost a whole posting that took me more or less and hour and half to complete. I'm not really in the mood now to do this one, but I believe it is necessary to complete it as I promised to you guys that I would.

Basically what was written in the previous posting(the one that I've lost) is that in this week there was not anything spectacular to comment on. It was work, work and just more work for me....although I did a lot of thinking as well. i thought of everyone and their situations in their respective countries.

Something that I have experianced the past week was that when we are dealing with tough situations/pain, we would like to run home. The problem that I have is where is that so called home?....for me....it's been a while since I could call South Africa my home and to this day it is not part of my life anymore. My home is that place where I felt really comfortable and at ease with myself. The place where all the people are that I've trusted and respected for so long and they for me. I do not miss Mauritius really that much anymore and when I think back, I can only remember those times where I just felt so happy to be around certain people. That is what I miss!

The past week was a really tough one to deal with, but it's over and another couple of weeks are on the way. But I decided to only live the moment. Make everyday a memorable day for me. I've decided to take up SCUBA diving and my first class will start tomorrow morning at 9am. The reason for this decision is to relive the one episode that I've never completed back on the island. And it's another way to meet people here. I will start to explore what Tanzania has to offer me...On & Off land shortly. I'm thinking of bying a motorbike and that thought will rationalise hopefully within the next 2 weeks before I will leave for my final journey within 17months to Mauritius.

I do not have much expectations of the island, except for having a good time the way I know best and what was taken away from me so fiercely. I will be able to go to Buddah Bar, knowing I'm alone (like before March 2005) and my mind will be just so free of everything that bothered me on that island. I think it will be just so fabulous to be the person I use to be and live on the island for 9days as a holiday go'er. No stress, No physical connections, No priorities except for the consumption of just so much PHOENIX as possible.....That will be definately a lot. The last time I just wanted to get off (because it seemed on that stage I will never leave) and did not realise exactly how much I will be missing there. My friends, my life, my house & just so much good memories that revolved around my 2004/05 year of living.

Being independant and alone is not always that bad. I really think it is an advantage to discover who you really are and connect with people in a way that you never could have before. I'm talking about flirting with girls and see what is the maximum (and be able to go for it) you can get out of it without hurting that person. I'm thinking of Uma's theory of "friends with benefits'". Not that I have a crush on anyone at all, but you can not resist an opportunity like this ever. On the island, with that hot sweating weather and with foreigners all around.....God....Heaven....with PHOENIX....Just talking a lot of shit right now.

Anyway, I'm glad that I will meet up with everyone and relive in a very short period my life the way I was suppose too. To be honest, I think I've neglected a lot of good things of my life just because I was just so involved with myself and my problems. Sometimes you need to let things go to see if they will ever come back and if they don't, you can considder yourself lucky to not have forced the issue. I'm just so excited about my trip and I hope I could go diving with Uma and my German buddies.

I love you all and you guys are always on my mind. Have an absolutely great weekend and will like to read about it on your blogs next week.

Karibo Asana Mzungu!

posted by Gordon van den Heever @ 12:30 am