27 February 2006

Change of my Blog Address!


I really hope this will be the last time that I will change my blog address......Well, some experiances in Germany showed me to what extent my whole world and thoughts were focussing on and somehow I lost the true essence of being just Gordon. I do not care if you guys like it or not, but for me personally I will have to change everything about how I will go forward from now on and the postings captured in this blog was purely based on the last 6 months of sadness which I would prefer to leave behind from now on. This new blog will basically be a reflection of my everyday life and thoughts to try and strive for peace and happiness.

I guess from now on you guys will truely enjoyed to read more about what's truly determining life and not about the sadness created emotional downfall.

So, I am sorry again, but I need to do this for me. You all can change your current blogs for the last time and add my new link if you still want to keep in touch with my daily life.



14 February 2006

Really the Last Blog!

OK, I'm stuck to blogging exactly the same way like I like my beer, women, cigarettes and maybe like.......well, this is a public blog and absolutely no space for vulger language or impure thoughts....

So, this will be the last blog untill I will return from Germany. Anne wants to build our joint venture effort blog into some incredible memorable standard and I could not agree even more. So, if you want to follow the happenings, please leave some comments on our german blog and tell us/me/her just how fucking jealous you all are for not being there with us.

The link is on the right side of my personal blog called "The Deutschland Experiance, Info & More" and on Anne's personal blog it is called "German Blog". If you don't get it, well then you are seriously too fucking stupid to really understand what an amazing journey this will be and you will loose out all on the fun. If you can not be there with us in person, then try at least to be in spirit.

PS: Keep an eye on both mine and Anne's PhotoBlogs to see the images taken during total insanity. I miss y'all and may the South African force be with y'all.


12 February 2006


Well, I know I have said that my next blog will be from Germany, but instead I have decided to reflect on the activities of the past weekend. So, like I have said that Dirk has asked me to go with him to supervise a job of one of our colleagues in Mbeya.

Well, what a fucking drive. We left the office on Friday afternoon around 13:30 and headed for the long road to freedom to some extent. It took us about 3 hours to do a 300km stint for our first stop at Mikumi National Park to do lunch. Once we were on the National Park’s road, it was really unbelievable to see how green the world really has become. It was so green that you could see some wild animals feasting on the road side. I took some amazing shots of wild elephants, dears, zebras, giraffes and some wild baboons.

Once we entered the Camp site where we decided to go for a late lunch, it was all and all a different story. The place was so green and it was really just so beautiful and amazing. Right in front of the open planned restaurant, there was at least 2 water holes where the thirsty animals came to drown their thirsts…..not that they were the only one’s who did a bit of drowning thirsts I have to add very diplomatically. If I have to guess, the water holes were approximately 20 – 30 meters away from the restaurant, but it was really amazing to see these animals walking freely with no border lines. At this point I have experienced the true essence of freedom. There was no electricity, no telephones and we were just parking off watching the sunset to some extent with the wild animals marching all around us. It was really an incredible feeling to have experienced this. After all of these incredible experiences, it was time to hit the road again.

The weirdest part is that none of us knew exactly how far this drive was. I can confirm now that it took us another 8 hours drive to get to Mbeya. All and all it was about 11 hours drive. It was definitely the most beautiful scenery I have experienced in a long time. To compare it with Mauritius…..Mauritius only had beautiful beaches with a couple good mountains, but this was different. This was like the scenery from home……Just so amazing. I think when god designed the world, he created Africa first.

OK, eventually we found a hotel at 23:30 and let me tell you that there is no way in hell that this hotel could deserve any stars and per night per person it pulled out a staggering USD40……..fucking shit. Anyway……Saturday morning broke and Dirk and I still just so fucked from the 11 hours drive. First thing first and we woke up with a very big surprise……This was the day that the local electricity Tenesco decided to cut the power on the whole city part of their power sharing scheme…..The water levels are low due to insufficient rainfall and then there is no water to cool down their turbines or even run some of their turbines to run and therefore, NO FUCKING ELECTRICITY. Anyway, we set off to site to go and finish up what we were planning to do and then I was gratefully advised that there is no fucking way I will be allowed on site due to my clothing. Yeah, they didn’t like the fact that I wore T-shirts, my beach shorts and open shoes……Against safety regulations. So, I was demoted to support staff and did all the fucking driving for food, spare parts and just everything that was needed.

I did like the job to some extent…..because I didn’t have to work. I found an open bar at 10am and there I parked and shared very valuable information about countries I have visited before. With a Captain Morgan Dark Rum of course….or a couple I might add. Just a little bit of bar talk. I have looked for an internet café and eventually found one that was open (running on generators), but signal strength of the satellite internet was so fucking bad that I couldn’t even open my emails….God, it felt if I was in hell for 3 days…….So, eventually picked up Dirk for lunch and drove straight back to the bar for a couple more COLD ONE’s…….At the bar counter there was a plate with these letters on “WYBMADIITY”. Dirk asked the guy who was sitting next to us with the idea that this might be SWAHILI and with our curiosity we are always interested in new bar theories. This guy told him Will You Buy Me A Drink If I Tell You and firstly we didn’t catch it and thought that this poor guy was one fucking arrogant SOB and with our South African tempers we almost took this down to the bar stools if you know what I mean, but luckily we behaved. Awesome Shit Bru!

Eventually, the electricity came on around 8pm and we were back in business. I fetched Dirk around 9pm and we went back to the “Zero Star” Hotel. We were so fucked, because of the activities during the day and decided that there is only one way and that is straight for food, couple of cold one’s and then the bed. At 7am this morning, Dirk woke me up and we prepared for our journey back home. Fuck, it’s been a while since I have done long distance driving….keep in mind that Mauritius only has a circumference of 260km…..Anyway, 09:30 we hit the road and I took over the driving around the 300km mark all the way back home. This time it came down to only 8.5 hours drive. This was really an awesome weekend doing something that none of us have done for such a long time.

Finally, I’m back in the office and it is now around 20:40pm and busy typing this blog. Guys enjoy your time around and I promise now that my next blog will be from Deutschland.

Ciao for now

PS: Check out the pictures, there are quite a couple of good one’s of this weekend.

09 February 2006


Trying to put my mind at ease and somehow I can only manage to do that for 5 minutes. Well 7 days to go........but this is not really why I am thinking so much. It has been probably the hardest 4 weeks of my life and like I have said in an earlier posting that focussing on just that what is so imprtant to me at this point in time. WORK!

I have slaved such long hours for so long and last night it came to a stop. I just couldn't go on anymore. I can not think back when was the last time I was at my house whatching TV at 6pm. This is where I draw the line and take a time-out. I just can't go on the pace I have been doing for so long. This will be a much needed break coming up and it will be my first holiday ever where I went on holiday for more than 3 weeks consecutively. Can you believe that? You better, because it is fucking true.

And there is so much work ahead and somehow I know I will get in a couple of hours work while I'm in Germany. Specially on the days where Anne has to work.......Anyway, let me get off this subject for now. I haven't spend much time to write to anyone during this time. It was really that hard and busy.

So, Got some winter clothing packed (OK, not really packed...I only pack about 2 hours before I left for the airport). The thing is I get too excited (and not the way you guys think) when I start packing and if I do it a day or 2 in advance, they time will go snailing. I can not deal with that so I rather work on 99% and rush everything down to the last minute.

I got a very sad email last week from a dear friend of mine in Germany and somehow see was on my mind for the whole time. Bru, I am so sorry for your loss and my the force be with you the whole time. Because if I like you, that will mean a whole lot of people likes you too and that is only good news, because it means you are not alone.....You will never be alone even though it might only be in spirit. You have made me think so much about reality and stop living in a dream world. It is good to dream, but life will slip right by. (And I'm talking of me, not you). Sometimes we forget really how lucky we are to have the people we love close to us and if they're not, then you have to make a plan to get them there. Well, unfortunately I am in position where I can not make that decision. I build my decisions on the things that are fundemental to me and not fiction.

I will see you and not so long and I will make a plan to come and show face before you leave for the US of A. I just hope that you will find yourself soon and that everything will settle down to normailty, which will be new for you as well.

Sometimes I really try to put the value of true friendships. We never realise this untill bad luck strikes and then we are always so happy to have our friends around. But I have tought myself for so long to deal with everything on my own and back in Mauritius I was spoiled to have so many good people around who are to this day my closest friends. But now everything is back to normality for me and I do what I do best, deal with it on the South African way.....Drink it away!

So, Sandrine, just know that I do think of you. Best of luck with everything back home and USA. See ya soon bru. Ja, so I will be off on holiday soon and somehow and get this weird butterfly feeling in my my stomache....it is really so unbelievable to know that I will see most of the people I care about so soon. For some it has been 12 months and for others only 3 months, but I will be in 7th Heaven soon.

I guess I will work this week out and I will be very close to death. To get some energy back into the bones I will go with Dirk this weekend 850km away to go and supervise a project that a colleague of us are trying to explore his his road to the dollar success. Maybe only Zimbabwe dollar success, but it is a good opportunity for him and I am happy for him that he is a well goal driven human being trying to look after or looking after his family. Lets just put this mildly and very diplomatic, because someone reads this blog as well which could get Dirk and me in Big trouble.........We will attempt to come home alive after a mission of what we do best................and somehow this will be a real warm up lap for Germany as well.

So, we will behave ourselves to the extent that we will be thinking that we are still behaving and after that we will return with sudden loss of memory. I will have the pics to prove how bad it went. So for now, it will be out untill my next blog from Germany.

Cheers guys and have fun. Miss y'all

04 February 2006

I'm leaving on that midnight train tomorrow!

It's been really a long time since I have listened to friend Lionel! To be exact it had to be colse to 7 months. People fade, but memories lives on......only because it was such a great time.

Timo and Hubert left the island on Monday exactly a year ago and this has also been the last time I have seen them. Shortly after, to mourn the occasion together with friends, but basically regrouping and get all our thoughts together. It was on a public holiday wich was Wednesday (date wise Thurday) a year ago.....the day my life changed forever. I guess she forgot this day like she has forgot a lot of things. But I'm not good with dates at all, just shows you what impact this day had on my life to follow.

But it was like a lot of things to follow. A lot of good memories followed like the once I have experianced earlier with a different set of friends, but at the same time I signed up (not knowingly, but should have expected it) for basically incredible hard time ahead and I still do feel the consequences of my actions back then. But know can predict anything, but life will teach you the things you are set here to be tought....There is absolutely no 2 ways about it, accept it and grab the bull by the horns and run with it. Who knows when it will ever stop?

One year on, we all are on different continents doing just that we set ourselves to mind. But one thing lives on and that is memories and something that still brings me to my knees is the fact that I under estimated the value or the feeling of true friendships. To the day when I think back of just that most incredible time of my life, I re-live the memories and it does not go apart from a feeling of satisfaction. The sad thing I have to move on. I have to experiance new things (not that I want to forget about the old one's) and follow my road to destiny. Somehow I have come to the point where I have to say goodbye to a lot of good times with a whole lot of good people put together in just one small fucking shit island.....to add what my friend Nachi told me a couple of days (or weeks) ago....The Island of broken dreams.....! And somehow I have seen it happening time and time again, but never thought it could happen to me.

So, time is up......13 days to go! I will go and make my rounds and then I have done my part in this social development phase of my life. Who ever wants to come and see me are most welcome. I am not writing anyone off...It's just that I have to start focussing now on who I am and what I want to achieve in my life. For now, it will have to be alone and I will set my mind on those things that needs my attention. I will focus on what I have done so well for so long, but have let it slip a bit in a way I wish never did. An unscheduled trip has been added into my German schedule (and Yes, it is work again) to visit my head office in Paris to determine where I will fit into Degremont's future plans. I guess this will be around 5 - 10 March and with this meeting I will have determined just that what I have worked so hard for such a long time.

It is funny how we loose the only one thing that was true, honest & committed to you and somwhow afterwards we want to fight to get it back. Why loose it in the first place? I have to say it almost happened, but luckily my eyes has opened up now and I know what is important to me. I will go forward now, with or without you guys. It's my destiny to do the things I believe in.

The time has come for things to happen again and I have waited long enough to try and fix everything that did not fit my life. Looking at it from this perspective that if it did not fit, why waste the time to make it fit........It's from now on all gone.

I packed up all my troubles and sorrows and I will throw them all away. I know where I'm going even if I know I might go all the way alone.

This is not pointed towards anyone and I'm not sad at all. I 'm just shocked of how I could have lost the control. At least I'm on the right track now and if you want to stand with me, you better stand proud and tall.

01 February 2006

Changing Face!

Wow, I can not believe it has been 6 days since my last blog. Anyway, I just wished that everyone else could be so committed to their blogs. I give the germans some rope, because I know they are busy with their exams......but those Americans and the dude left on the island, Nachi. It is really funny how a hair cut can change the way you feel. When my hair is "relatively" long it somehow contributes to some degree the level of depression existing to my everyday life. This is not bullshit, for real. Does this only happen to me? Well, the hunk is back in town so hold your horses German ladies......Elvis will enter the building pretty soon! (Not soon enough though)

Well, here is not a lot to blog about. Dirk finally decided that my first name is SLAVE and my last, well you guessed it right.....Labour...Call me from now on Slave Labour! Good news is that I hooked up with Joel yesterday. Well, he is on MSN now and told him to get SKYPE as well. Apparently the bru is back in Rodrigues teaching. I would have loved to have that guy as my Social Development teacher back in school. So I have forwarded all your guys MSN contacts to him and I guess he will get pretty soon in contact with all of you. Hey Joel, nice to have you back brother. It's been a while!

The next thing is that in exactly 2 weeks from now I will work my final day for about a month. Yeah, just a while ago it was 7 weeks to go and from now on I will start to do the countdown as well. 15 days to go untill I put my feet on a airplane again.....

The schedule has been finalised up too about 80% and I know when I will see who. Right now the names for certain will be (start from day 1) Anne, Timo, Hubsi, (all Parties first)..then Skiing (more Party...Austria or Zugspitze) then Cologne (even more partying, Carnival) then Amsterdam (well you guessed it right guys..I'm not going to mention here what we will do, because of legal issues)....then Berlin & maybe 1 or 2 towns extra (still deciding) then Frankfurt....Kerstin, Lars, Joern and that is all that is finalised right now. Then, I'll be on my way and be slaving for another year just to afford the next trip. Anne, I can't wait! Thanx bru!

Next I want to give an update on the animal issue here in Tanzania....Well Griffin (the Le Mour) took the road deciding that the tree close to my office was in deed to close to my office. Bru, Enjoy life. The baby mongoose that belongs to Dirk is growing up nicely and she walks all over the house an tease the dogs. I called it a "she" because she fucking moans like a "She" and her name is (let me try to spell it...it's actually in Zulu meaning RAT) Gunewane!. Dirk, help me out on this one! She is incredibly cute and I'm going to steel her, I swear!

So, nothing much new in the land of slaves & labourers.....Just doing what we do best....Trying to take over the world like every night before. Hope you guys are doing OK. Germans, my sympothy goes to you guys this week for the exams...Anne, only 2 days more to go...It's almost over.

Oh ja, any news on Uma......Amuuuuuu, where are you?

PS: Start commenting or I'm going to stop blogging and that includes for EVERYONE in Germany. I'm pulling a Jess on myself....


26 January 2006

Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia

A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:

"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies:

"I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

The man says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."

"IF" – Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor walk to wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master,
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same,
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss,
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: Hold On!

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings – not lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute,
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

Note: Kipling is said to have written this poem “IF” with Dr. Leander Starr Jameson in mind, who led about five-hundred of his countrymen (Englishmen) in a failed raid against the Boers, in South Africa. The “Jameson Raid” was later considered a major factor in starting the Boer War in South Africa (1899-1902).

Getting Organised!

Anne, you have asked me what do I think of Ethiopean Airlines....I heard that they are part of the Lufthansa Group and therefor I can only guess that they could be better off them some of the local airlines here in Africa.

Or rather hope so......I decided to go with Ethiopean Airlines, because they have a much shorter flight (don't need that 8 hour stop over in Dubai anymore), USD100.00 cheaper and I can take 30kg on board where by with Emirates I could only take 20kg's......

So, I do have the VISA, Tickets and still need the Travel Insurance, but will get that today. So, I'm off to Germany on the 16th and will land on the 17th February '06.

This is hopefully now my final flight details:

Depart DAR on 16th Feb at 15:40 on ET804
Arrive Frankfurt 17th Feb at 05:15 on ET704
Depart Frankfurt on 13th March at 22:55 on ET705
Arrive DAR on 14th March at 14:40 on ET805

Funny, ET (805) phone home......(ET nachhause telefonierin)

DAR to ADDIS - 4 hours 30 min flying
Transit - 3 hours 45 min
ADDIS to FRANFURT - 7 hours 15 minutes flying

Anne, if it is too early for you to pick me up on the Airport, I will catch a train rather....Do not want to it to be a headache at all....let me know! Now, we need to start getting final dates and getting the trip sorted out. ALL IN THE NAME OF FUN.........!

Ciao for Now Posted by Picasa

24 January 2006

Could my life be Brilliant?

A question what I like to ask myself regularly to determine where I stand with myself. Sometimes it’s hard to accept that things might not always be that great, but there are times where you just ride the wave. Somehow I do feel empty, but somehow I always tasted a little bit of satisfaction. It is on & off, but depends clearly on oneself.

This morning could not have been better. I was notified that I could come and collect my passport with my Deutschland visum for my 27 day trip that I’ve planned for so long now with all the effort that Anne and I have put into it. It was just the day where dreams meet reality…..2 Hours later with my ticket in my hand and still battling to get hold of my Travel Insurance, because of the net network failure (some tower is out of action apparently) and the power surges. But at least I know now that I’m on my way and now I can start planning who I will see when and maybe some time on my own doing just that what I like most by observing people.

Well, this incredible feeling ended around 19:30pm when I met up with my director from South Africa who postponed the meeting with one day due to the airplane that needed to do turn around back to South Africa and ended up doing an emergency landing due to hale the took out the front window of the plane. Well, at least he made back to Tanzania a day later still in good health.

I mean every time I see one of my colleagues or superiors from South Africa; I get this burning feeling of excitement, but this evening was different. I did get the excitement though, but I knew what it was all about. Jean Louis just came to tell us what is the updated news from South Africa, doing his diplomatically responsibility to find out the progress of our project and offering his assistance and then also coming to tell us that we will be looked after this contract. Well, that was the good part at least, but there was something I knew what he came to do.

And that was to come say Goodbye. After 35 years service with our company he finally decided that before he’s dead, he wanted to go enjoy that what’s left of his life. A well deserve rest I would say and I personally know how hard this guy worked. Basically lost 3 wives, because of his work obligations! At the end of the day after looking back on his life he is satisfied what he has accomplished. Man, something that I definitely want to do one day when my time comes.

Well, Jean Louis being a Frenchman he had this really firm and hard attitude from the start when I started knowing him back in 2001. A real tough cookie, but at the end a man with a genuine good heart looking after his employees who is by the way technically speaking not his anymore. Well, technically speaking he has nothing to do with me anymore, but I will admire this guy until the day I day. The man who gave me the opportunities that any white young guy in South Africa could dream of! Him seeing me grow during the past 4.5 years from an arrogant young white South African man age 21 as a contract junior draughtsman into a Senior Site Manager/Deputy Contracts Manager probably trusting him with part of probably the toughest project in a long time.

Man, tonight I sat and listened to everything he had say from joking to being really serious giving good advice. A man I have trusted for so long and somehow I’m really sad seeing him go. I knew now for a long time that he will retire now, but it came actually so suddenly and I never imagined it will end here now……

I have to dedicate this day to him. I guess it is really sad to see him go and I don’t know when I will ever see him again….well his next trip is with the chief CEO of Degrémont international which is a by the way a personal request from the big man there above will be in late February when I will be fortunately/unfortunately be in Germany. This is probably the guy that made me believe that by working hard you will go places and by seeing what he had to give up to date…..just so fucking incredible! But I’m really happy for him and I know now that this will be a well deserved rest.

At the end to say Goodbye was the hardest part and I sense that it was hard for him as well though he was pretending that he was happy. Jean Louis Pierrefeu, thank you for everything. You have to be one of the greatest people I have ever known. May the South African force be with you where ever you might be on your sailboat in the world. You really deserved it and I will promise you that I will always try to live up to your standards and try to make you proud. Thanx for calling me one of your children.

Au Revoir mon Grand Patron!

22 January 2006

Almost Having Good Time!

This has to be a baby dwarf Mongoose! One of the bitchiest little creatures I have seen in my life. When it saw me for the first time, this little shit wanted to eat my finger off and it was tuning me some shit! But after a while, this baby LOVED me....OK, everyone does after I had a good couple of beers!

Well Friday started off by getting my ass all over to DAR......This was the day when I started to put my dreams into motion to change into reality. This was they day I got all my documents that Anne & me collected to apply for my Shengen Visa for my trip to Germany. I was really just so excited, but also afraid that I might have forgotten some documents.....The night before I went thorugh the list for required documents to apply for the VISA...OK, I went through it at least 5 times to make 110% sure that I had all the necessary documents. I live in Mlandize, 70km away from DAR and if I forgot something it will take me at least another week and time was starting to run out.

As it turns out, yeah....I forgot one or no, I actually didn't know they needed this document. I have included the confirmation for the flight tickets as well for the Travel Insurance. But they needed the POLICY for Travel Insurance. Standing infront of this fucking beautiful, probably the most beautiful building in Tanzania, I knew this was it. Parking down at the counter applying for the VISA, the woman told me that I needed this document, but also notify me I can email it to her. Thanking the man upstairs, I walked out and saw the give German learning courses at the embassy and I knew that is something I really want to do. I need to get pass Dirk on this one, because it is on Tuesdays or Thursdays nights from 19:15 to 21:15pm. By I will inquire about this when I go and collect the ticket and will probably only start once I return ffrom Deutschland.

So, getting my ass all the way back to head office I remembered that it was Friday and on Fridays I eat a fucking shit load of meat, because Indians decided that they like to be vegetarians and therefore I do not eat meat for a week. OK, I decided this time we will go out and do shopping and on Saturday we did.

To get back to my story.....So, around midday on Friday we set off like usually just to go grab a quick lunch at SPUR. Guys, this is really a good SPUR, not like the one in Mauritius and it is probably the best one I have been to in my life. Better than the one's in South Africa! OK, after grabbing a Double Cheese Burger with Extra Pepper Sauce and rice on the side (OH my god....this is so fucking good food. Thanking the man above again for creating CATTLE!) and as usual Dirk with STELLA ATOIS and me with an CASTLE LAGER.....OH lovely! OK, this time Denis came with and he also had CASTLE LAGER......

During this incredible lunch we watched how Australia fucked us up again in the Cricket. Nachi, fucking just close your trap! I do not want to hear anything from you! So, we ordered just a last beer for the road to watch the end of this game, when friends of Dirk's walked in and we decided OK, just one more small beer. Man, this carried on untill about 19:30.......God, 7 and a half hours just drinking beer on probably the most beautiful sunny day ever. People, this was genuinely just the most amazing incredible day I have seen in such a long time....You all should have seen this, the most beautiful sky and then the colour of the sea....Ahhhhh, just so amazing!

Anyway, got back home around 19:30 with me on a fucking lekker station and I had to kill time, because here in Tanzania I also I also have the role as AIRPORT driver.....some things never change! So, around 21:00 I was at the airport to pick up a colleague of ours who came back from his annual from Sri Lanka. OK, he actually waited 20 minutes for me. When I got to the airport I remembered that there was this amzaing restaurant called Flamingo's making the best SAMOOSA's in the world. They are really good...Maybe I was just a little bit to drunk you all know once you get passed that drinking phase, the munchie phase starts off....hey, was that food lekka and after checking the arrivals and I haven't seen him, I went back and got myself a reall grilled half a chicken. They say food taste the best when you are drunk...always wondered why the frencies like their wine with their food, it's because their food can only suck! Hehehe, always wanted to say that.

Anyway, with Bandara in the car we went all the way back home.....from the airport it is 85km and lucky for me that the food kind of sobered me up. Eventually after this incredible long drive 23:00pm at night there was only one thing and that was MY couch right infront of the TV. Not that I watched any TV, but slept like a rock!

Saturday, like I have said earlier we went shopping. Sunday, just enjoying this great game I bought aweek ago....WWII game where I'm an allied fighter and shooting the crap out of the german, their german sheppard dogs, bombing their tanks and meeting up with a couple of their woman spies...yeah, you heard me right. the german woman spies. Guys, you know I love you all and I have nothing against german (I actually love them) but this game is just so amazing and difficult. The game is called Medal of Honor Allied Assualt. It took me all the way from training to OHMA beach on D-Day to Normandie walking through the houses and look for the usual suspects...The Germans..hehehehe, anyway, great game.

So, this was all of my happening since Friday. Guys, I know you all are studying really hard for you exams and I just wanted to say.......ENJOY IT....Some of us never get leave and we work our asses off for so long.....No, just kidding....Study hard and after that we will play hard, believe me! For the others, guys I hope you all enjoyed your weekends.

I miss you all soooo much and I love y'all.


PS: Jess, thanks for everything! Posted by Picasa

Dwarf Mongoose - Helogale parvula

This is a picture of them when they are fully gorwn. When they are fully grown they wiegh approximately 0.455kg with a total length of 150mm/15cm. Life expectency is around 8 years and they are carnivores....my best friends. They live on insects, reptiles, small birds, but also eat fruit to look after their diets. Definately one of the cutest creatures I've seen in my life. Edina, remember we saw them fully grown at the crocodile park back in Mauritius! Posted by Picasa

How small can it get?

OH my god, Dirk's baby mongoose! Posted by Picasa

19 January 2006

No Easy Way to Cry - David Gray

Smoke curls through my hands
These one night stands
Making me crazy I know
Morning I'll go
Crowds in the rain all passing by

Faith gone from your eyes
Each word that flies
Taking you further away
And come that day
There ain't no easy way to cry

And as I watch you leave I stand
Inside my house of straw
And everywhere I go I find
Things recollected to my mind
How right it all could be

Faith gone from your eyes
Each word it flies
Straight to the heart and I know
Watching you go
There ain't no easy way to cry

So right now
So right now
So right now
So right

And as I watch you leave I stand
Inside my house of straw
And everywhere I go I find
Things recollected to my mind
How right it all could be, could be

So right now
So right now
So right now
So right now

So right now
So right now
So right
So right

Yeah eah yeah eah yeah eah yeah

16 January 2006


World, meet my new African friend. She was caught by locals for dinner and my colleague Denis came to her rescue. 7000 Shillings further, a kitchen full of shit and a medium happy sized camper gladly to still be allive.

This is a BUSHBABY and I will release her this evening again in the bush far away from any inhabitants. Hope this time she will stay high up in the trees and do what nature tought them to do........Stay out of reach from any people and make a decent living by munching some insects, fruits and honey. She was givin' the name of GRIFFIN and hopefully this will be a happy ending.


13 January 2006

An Unscheduled Visit!

The first question Dirk ask me when he saw me was that he wanted to know "WHAT WENT WONG"....

Man, you all know me with shorts & T-shirts, but this day was a day that I had to get my commercial ties up hand and start building my contact card.

Just kidding, but Dirk wasn't funny when he notified me on Monday night (11:45pm) that the newly elected Minister of Water will come and visit all of our sites to investigate the extend of the project or that is what we thought.

Basically, it was just another fucking publicity stunt. This guy would have been lucky to have seen me in a suit & tie in 34degrees Celcius.

Well, I always knew it but somehow did not recognize the plans of fucking politicians. OK, maybe the intent was good and that normall only happens after elections, but he made a public vouch to come and re-visit the sites to follow the progress of the project. I guess the next time I will see this guy will only be during his last year in the position before the new elections. Fuck no, that means that I will be here another 5 years. No fucking way bru, NOT HERE this long.....

Na, it's not that bad here. I have seen this now time & time again. Politicians making BIG promises to uplift the living standards of the lower class and time & time again it's all about buying face. What the fuck is all this shit about.

Then I think about: the only people that are really doing something is the people physically doing the work, wether it is for a salary or voluntarily. Nobody really gives a fuck, no one. Just some guilty feeling European Institution that will benefit from it somehow and it's all a vicious circle in the capitalist world that we are living in. Anyway, I do feel proud in what I'm personally doing and what we in a whole will accomplish from this project. 2.3 Million people will benefit from this project and maybe just for once people can open a tap and really clean water will run from it.....ach, naja!

So, coming back to my original story. This minister dude made me get up at 6am to get everything fucking organised for his unscheduled visit and then he has the decency to came an hour & half late as well. Listen bru, before you make any fucking statement in the local news paper, please get your fucking facts straight and rather keep quiet if you don't know what you are doing. I know your position is only political orientated even though you actually deep down mean to do something, but stop talking crap if you don't really know what you are talking about and secondly to not attack those who are really biting the dust and slaving around in a country where there is actually no real fucking civilisation to give your people the the opportunity to experiance what life is all about and that is to have the chance to drink clean water.

Anyway, just felt that I needed to get that off my chest. Eish bru..........So, 20 cars with his full news, journalists and personal friend entourage ended up at our site and just not one word of appreciation.......Let me rather stop here before I start a revolution.

So, a week filled with drama, 2 public holidays, hot weather, no INTERNET and personal sadness are over or maybe almost.....Tomorrow (Saturday) I'm forced to work.....Eish bru, Nicht gute!

So my friends, I hope you all will have fun this weekend.


09 January 2006

No Comments Please - This is just for me!

It doesn’t matter what was said in the past or up to this date. Somehow I thought that I couldn’t care and then you wrote your last 2 emails. I thought that all our pain was long gone, but that definitely has to be a lie, because what I’m feeling right now I do not like at all.

My gut feeling always told me that I shouldn’t worry, because it will work out for us someday even if it’s not meant for us to be together. You wrote those emails because it meant something and it was true. Don’t blame yourself, because a lot has changed during this time, but what stayed the same was that pain & fear of not seeing you again.

I guess we can plan our futures and plan how we want to be happy, but you can’t plan to love someone. Love shouldn’t be complicated as long as it’s pure. Stop trying to make sense of it, because we will never understand why. What you have described in an email that changed both our worlds or maybe set us a step back, I have always believed in it and I did in you. Then you ask me why you are confused now and why you feel like this when you have made your decision…….

I do not have all the answers and I’m human as well, but I believe all that should matter is what your heart feels right now. You should live the moment never less the outcome. Was it wrong, Never! It could have come at a better stage although. What now? That’s again for you to decide. I’ve been told that I should have let go a long time ago, but I can not understand how one could do that to someone you really love even though you walk the road in the shadows. I can not give up on you and forget everything I have believed in for so long……

That would mean that I lived a lie for the past 12 months or so and I’m really sure that I lived that time and I was happy, because you were part of me. I wish life was simple, but unfortunately my dear, it’s not. We should only try and make the best of it and use that what you have to make you happy or at least try and find it. I wish I knew what to tell you, but I don’t.

Be really sure you know what you want before you tell me, because I’m going and I’m not going to turn around again. I can’t…..I just can’t. I wish that that it could have been so different, because all I ever wanted was the opportunity to let you know how much YOU could mean to someone…….I wish you knew just how much you mean to me and how you still determine my world. Somehow I feel that this is the final time that I will write this to you, so I hope you will understand. I don’t want you to go, I don’t. And if you are going, please give back my heart and remove those memories that made me just that person who I liked a year ago. Give me back just that, so that you can never break it again.

Dreams can change, but memories lives forever as long as your mind stays sane. Ballerpipe, don’t go. Somehow you fear the outcome and somehow I feel that you are going to say Goodbye! I don’t want too, but I guess I will take it upon myself to let you go.

Goodbye my German Dream!

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow. Posted by Picasa

08 January 2006

Kingsley Holgate

A man with a big heart and the love for travel. If someone would ask me now who I wished I like to be it has to be Mr. Kingsley Holgate.

I believe that Mr. Holgate has won the hearts of many "want to be explorers" out there, but I also believe he has won the respect of Africa. I truly like him because of what he is doing for mankind and people around him in need and that is how you determine the true quality in a man. He has followed in the footsteps of many explorers before him, but he still carries the heart of gold.

How many of you will do and dedicate your lives like he's had and do something that you love and believe in? Sometimes we think this might be easier now then before, but it takes so much more. He has experiance so much and he dedicate his time to help others in need. Who of you are prepared to do this? Not many, not many!

The Embassador of Africa and a true South African!

If your imagination is captured by this post, follow him with his journeys....
http://www.kingsleyholgate.co.za/ Posted by Picasa

Like every night…….Taking over the world!

To start off this posting, I had to wonder where I should start from. This was just an amazing week (lack of sleeping) and it still goes on. So, I returned to Tanzania on Sunday and by Wednesday I picked up Dirk from the airport from his trip from Durban, South Africa. After work we settled for the SPUR meeting up with another colleague of ours, Denis. Dinner finished with off course a couple of beers, Denis invited us for a couple more with the LOCAL/EXPATRIAT biker group at a local

Meeting the group, Dirk decided to show me another restaurant with a Whiskey & Cigar bar. At this point I had no idea what was installed for me. Here we met a couple local Netherlanders and lets just say that it got a bit loud, exchanging interesting facts from Holland & South Africa and a shit load of jokes. Keep in mind that I was informed to write this posting relatively very diplomatically, because I do have a very well spread reading audience and just lets say that ……….ja. Around midnight, Dirk decided that he needs the sleep and I was just on the verve of finding my old form back. I met up with the Biker boys and our Client at Q-BAR and we took it to the stars. Me turning politician once I had just one too many Captain Morhans and it became 5am…..OH my god, I went to work at 8am….Ouch!

So, Thursday it was back to site. Very hard day I have to add. Around 8pm Dirk gave me a call and I returned back to DAR. We agreed that part of my New Year’s Resolutions I should experience new things and first on my list was gambling. I have never gambled before and this was the way forward. We decided to go gamble at the local CASINO. I looked around and then I knew the only thing that I can properly play is BLACK JACK and that was by far the best decision. Decided that I’m going to play only 50,000 Tanzanian Shillings (around USD 50) and tempted faith and my luck, I was 120,000 above my initial startup cash. Decided that I will leave man standing and with a winning hand, Dirk decided that we should do another first for me, go and play Tenpin Bowling. With the luck streak on it’s ultimate high ever, the place was just about closing and Dirk begged Lulu to let us play just one game. She’d agreed and there was this 2 guys attempting Tenpin Bowling. OK, Dirk did play before and I guess he’d done pretty well by kicking my ass 6 love. But with my luck, I threw a STRIKE on the night of my first time ever with this game.

We went off to Q-Bar and settled genuinely only for 3 drinks (with me paying, because I had Free Money) each and we decided that this was the end. Went home and parked off on the couch and listened to some music. At 3:30am I knew I had enough and we went to bed with me struggling the next morning to wake up. All time low.

Friday coming up we had a party going for the night at Dirk’s house. Did a bit of shopping, 3 fillet’s with 2 espetada’s and a fucking shit load of alcohol. While driving back home after shopping, we suddenly saw a very strange(but familliar) vehicle in the road and somehow Dirk immediately knew exactly who this was.

We made a U-turn and went straight up to him and I have to be really honoured to have met this guy. I would actually like to call him "The White Man of Africa". This guy have done so many expiditions in his life before and rescently finished a trip around the world on the CAPRICORN by car. He is just (I think) the most remarkable man alive and a true Embassador to mankind. He is currently doing an expidition on a DHOW(Tanzanian boat) from Mozambique to Somalia and back, delivering mosquito nets (Project: One Net One Life) and supplies to woman & children who are dying from malaria and can not afford to purchase these supplies. A true South African. His name is Kingsley Holgate. I have added a link if you guys want to read more about his journeys.

Like usually, people arrived late and I met up with one South African born German and another German living in Tanzania for 2 years, but originally from Wuerzburg. Basically the talk of the night was focused on my trip to Germany and the one guy pleading that I should get really fit before attempting snowboarding. God, what a drinking experience this has been. Around midnight I decided that this should not be where this beautiful Friday evening should end and I’ve settled for a bar called Garden Bistro….Ah, playing pool, drinking, meeting just so many more people and then finally I decided to call it a night. So around 3:30am this was it……I can honestly not move anymore. This was it! Alles Klar! Finished! My body and mind did not want to go on anymore the way my will power for having a great fucking experience. Basically going nowhere very slowly, but I’m heading North South.

Saturday, this has been the first time in a very long time I stood up in the morning without having a major Babalas, but I just felt that I could have been paralized or having one of those weird disorders where I have a lack of energy levels or the will power for anything special. But an hour down the line I had my first beer at 2pm and slowly cruising to mission impossible 4. Around 4pm, we were invited to go park off at the Yacht Club with the most beautiful view ever……the bar, chicks and the ocean.

We quickly found ourselves in another big mess. Watching these gals in bikini’s and we totally lost track of the amount of beer that we were consuming & time and around 7:30pm we were back in business. We set off to one of our friend’s house (Nicholas who is the executive head chef at Seacliff hotel) and went straight on partying. BBQ and Captain Morgan was the way forward. Around 11pm this shit was over and we decided it was time to go hit the clubs again. I’ve tried to get my energy levels up with a couple of Redbulls, but that was worthless. This body of mine felt that it just had enough of this 6 days drinking marathon. Around 01:30am we returned home and that was it. I was done!

So, today I’m going to take the time out to revive my soul for the week ahead. Will gladly appreciate the rest and just think……....

Ciao for now……….

05 January 2006

Something Interesting!

Hey guys, you all know that my trip to Deutschland has been on my mind now for a while. Anne(AM) my host and tour guide have come up with an amazing plan to doucument everything relating to this trip and put it out there for the public to see.

All the excitement, frustrations, Ups & Downs will be publicised on a new blog called "The Deutschland Experiance, Info & More....". Well, what you can find on this blog is basically everything from me/us start planning this trip all the way up to reliving the Mauritian Experiance on a different continent. Anne & I both have publishing rights, so this might be a bit interesting!

If you know both of us, you will definately recognize the grammar, vocabulary and real weird acronyms. Just that that makes us unique and so SPECIAL. Like I've said, If you know us you will know what's it all about. Fuck guys, jump on the band wagon and enjoy this great time with us.

For all you NUTS out there, you can find the link for this blog on both Anne's & my blog.....

Anne's Blog: German blog (under Extra Stuff......)
Gordon's Blog: The Deutschland Experiance, Info & More....(under Something Interesting.....)

and for those of you who are really fucking DOF/F, find the link below.


Acronym DOF: Could only mean one of two things....

Dull Or Fucked (DOF), or
Someone that is quite densed....I'll let you be the judge of it!

03 January 2006

Tears & Rain..... - James Blunt

Well I know songs aren't postings, but somehow I feel that music do sculpture your soul. So Nachi, you just need to like it! This is ultimately one of the best songs I have ever heard, besides all of U2's music. You guys need to get the CD. Enjoy it!

Tears & Rain

how i wish i could surrender my soul
shed the clothes that become my skin
see the liar that burns within my needing
how i wish i had chosen darkness from cold
how i wish i could scream out load
instead ive found no meaning

i guess its time i run far, far away. find comfort in pain
all pleasures the same it just keeps me from trouble
hides my true shape, like dorian gray
i've heard what they say, but im not here for trouble
its more than just words, its just tears and rain

how i wish i could walk through the doors of my mind
hold memory close at hand, help me understand the years
how i wish i could choose between heaven and hell
how i wish i could save my sole, im so cold from fear

i guess its time i run far, far away. find comfort in pain
all pleasures the same it just keeps me from trouble
hides my true shape, like dorian gray
i heard what they say, but im not here for trouble
far far away, find comfort in pain
all pleasures the same it just keeps me from trouble
its more than just words, its just tears and rain

far far away, find comfort in pain
all pleasures the same it just keeps me from trouble
its more than just words, its just tears and rain

far far away, find comfort in pain
all pleasures the same it just keeps me from trouble
its more than just words, its just tears and rain

02 January 2006

This is just me!

Returning Home.....Tanzania

Yo, what a time it has been back home with the family. So many memories taking me back years before.

It was real fun spending Christmas with my parents. It has been has actually been the first in almost 4 years actually. 2001 I was in Durban with my EX girl, 2002, I was in Cape Town, 2003 I was in Mozambique, 2004 I was in Mauritius and 2005 on the farm.....God, the time has flown by so fast. It seems like only yesterday that I left school and it's been now 8 years....Eish...

Anyway, Friday we setted off to Jo'burg for my final stop before I returned to Tanzania. Wayne greeted me very damagedly, because of the night before. Uma, remember how we looked when you came from Tanzania to Mauritius? He looked so much worse and you should have seen us the following 2 days.......Eina!

So, Friday I met Wayne's new Brittish Girlfriend Lisa. Great girl and did we have fun....I mean the 3 of us! Friday was basically lay back cruising along with a couple of beers. Warming up for the following day. Saturday we had to get the house in order for the guests.....Maids also have holidays in South Africa, soo we had to do the shit ourselves. Anyway, just another big reason to start drinking early while working. Man, we didn't get any sleep since Friday morning. Saturday at 4pm the guests started arriving and we were already halfway past the "I'm still standing phase", but we went on.

At midnight I was super pissed and I caught myself with this one super big South African Cone roled green peace plants and that flipped me into the West Side. Genuinely super strong shit..."Rooibaard" Anyway, peaced up with everyone and enjoyed my last couple of hours in South Africa for the next 14 months.....Real hard, but I knew that this is what I want to do.

Time was absolutely magnificient and now it's back to reality....my normal life with me fighting with my mind with all my unsolved mysteries. The good thing I have made peace with a couple of them and the last one will come in Feb/March......A dream that was realise within a couple of a weeks and that makes me the happiest man allive.....This is probably a dream I have lived for since I was a child....Now I can afford it, I have the recourses and I have the freinds. Isn't it great. OK, Anne, you need to organise those letters this week, so I can purchase the ticket and apply for the trip early next week. This is for definate now.

Yippeee 2006, here I come. I will come with a vengance and brutal force and there will be nothing that is going to stop me. Not this time. So, to sum up the past week:

Lot of drinking and smoking involved
Lot of friends and family
Lot of good food
Lot of thinking
Very little internet
Lot of shopping and driving involved
Great weather during the day.
Lot of Goodbyes involved

But to end it, it was really worth to spend the time with people you love and who loves you. I saw that I did change a lot since I left South Africa in 2004. I know I did change for good.....


PS: The pics are published. Check it out!

Final Destination……Home!

Let me start off by saying that I hope you guys enjoyed Christmas as much as I did. Well, Santa did make his turn around my bedside…….Guess I wasn’t a naughty boy at all….Man, Leave me alone, I still believe in him. I have too, because it’s our tradition.

So Friday, 23 December I landed on Johannesburg International Airport. Our luggage took a fucking hour to clear….Guess I have forgotten about African Time….Yeah, it even exist in South Africa. Walking through the doors of International Arrivals was probably one of the most exciting days for me in a very long time. I was greeted there with my mother and sister and we set off for another 2.5 hours drive to our farm in the Free State. OK, it took me 1.75 hours even though the roads were flooded with those fuckers that didn’t have much better things to do then to catch innocent speeding drivers. Was auch Immer!

The first thing that I did once I got back home was to run to the fridge and get myself an AMSTEL…..Hallelujah, Praise the all mighty! An ice cold Amstel in 36degrees centigrade is just what a farm boy needs. Well, I said hello to everyone and we exchanged local news very briefly and then my mom prepared FOOD…..Man, It doesn’t matter how old a man can get, his mother’s food is always the best. Afterwards I had to catch a shower, ‘cause I really smelt like a pig on the way to get slaughtered. Dressed up and set off to catch up with some old mates. I walked into this bar and I realized how much I really missed civilization. Woman, cheap Alcohol and Music! We started off partying really slowly until an old flame walked in and I was suddenly the next best thing since sliced bread. Did we make out? From Red Heart Rum to double STROH Rum clean in gobbler glasses. It felt like I was swallowing Clean JET A1 Jet fuel and it gave me a bit of vuma if you know what I mean. I guess I was the most loveable and friendliest person around since Mother Tereasa.

It was just so great to party among my friends and old stories just came out and we all had great laughs. Well, I was invited to stay over at a friends place, because the legal limit for driving while under the influence was passed even before I got home from the airport, Sooooo……..Great, what can I say? A house with two gals, Amstel and Rum…… What more could men ask for? Unfortunately, nothing was in a good working order so I had to leave all missions ‘till I rehabilitated from the alcohol abuse.

Well, Saturday morning I had to rush to do the final Christmas Shopping and my parents score big time this year. Got back home and passed out. Woke up on Christmas day with a mother of a headache and babalas. So, the best cure was that Deutsche Mas (Anne correct me if I’m wrong – the big beer glass from Germany) Well, 3 of them down the line, I was as strong as ever. Well, the food was great and then we decided to spend a sunny day in the farm dam with more beer. I guess around 4pm and 7 of those big fucking glasses I decided I had enough and it was good night again for me.

During the week I just hang out a bit, did a bit of winter clothing shopping for my Deutschland trip and hanged out with a couple of friends. Just chillin’ out for my next big disaster, this coming Friday and Saturday. People, this is the day we live for in South Africa. Babes in bikini’s and Alcohol galore! So, I’m off to Johannesburg on Friday and on my way back to Tanzania on Sunday. This was just the break I needed for such a long time.

I hope you guys are still enjoying your holidays and will meet up with some of you next week on the NET. Have a fabulous New Year’s Party and I hope you all will be as slaughter as I will be. ENJOY and may the South African force be with all of you.


PS: Check out some of the holiday pics……the New Year’s Party pics will follow shortly.

She’s like the wind……. - Patrick Swayze


She’s like the wind through my tree.
She rides the night next to me.
She leaves me through moonlight only to burn me with the sun.
She’s taken my heart, but she doesn’t know what she’s done.

I feel her breath in my face,
Her body close to me.
Can’t look in her eyes,
She’s out of my league
Just a fool to believe
I am everything she needs
She’s like the wind…….

I look in the mirror and all I see
Is a young old man with only a dream.
Am I just fooling myself that she’ll stop the pain.
Living without her….I’ll go insane.

I feel her breath in my face,
Her body close to me.
Can’t look in her eyes,
She’s out of my league
Just a fool to believe
I am everything she needs
She’s like the wind…….

I feel your breath in my face,
Your body close to me.
Can’t look in your eyes,
You are out of my league
Just a fool to believe
She’s like the wind…….

Just a fool to believe
She’s like the wind…….

Just a fool to believe
She’s like the wind…….

Change…… - Tracy Chapman

If you knew you that you would die today
If you saw the face of God and love
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you knew that love can break your heart
When you down so low you can not fall.
Would you change?
Would you change?

How bad, how good does it need to get?
How many losses, how much regrets?
What chain reaction would cause an affect?
Makes you turn around.
Makes you try to explain.
Makes you forgive and forget.
Makes you change.
Makes you change.

If you knew that you would be alone
Knowing that being wrong
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you knew that you would find her true
That brings her pain that can be so
Would you change?
Would you change?

How bad, how good does it need to get?
How many losses, how much regrets?
What chain reaction would cause an affect?
Makes you turn around.
Makes you try to explain.
Makes you forgive and forget.
Makes you change.
Makes you change.

I saw her cry, you can be bad if it comes to blows
Are you so sure you won’t be callin’ when you had enough of the good wives?
Fallin’…Why risk falling?

If everything you think you know
Makes your life unbearable
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you broken every rule and bone
If hard times come and bring you down
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you knew you that you would die today
If you saw the face of God and love
Would you change?
Would you change?
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you saw the face of God and love
If you saw the face of God and love
Would you change?
Would you change?

I don’t know much…… - Linda Ronstadt & Aaron Neville

Look at this face,
I know the years are showing.
Look at this life,
I still don’t know where it’s goin’.
I don’t know much, but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.

Look at these eyes,
They’ve never seen what matter.
Look at these dreams,
So big and so better.
I don’t know much, but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.

So many questions still left unanswered.
So much I have never broken through.
And when I feel you near me,
Sometimes I see so clearly.
The only trouble I have ever known.
It’s being you.

Look at this man,
So blessed with inspiration.
Look at this soul,
Still searching for salvation.
I don’t know much, but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.

I don’t know much, but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.
I don’t know much, but I know I love you.
That may be all that I need to know.

17 December 2005

It All has to Come to an End!

Everything good in life will come to end, but something else better will come along and surpise you out of your mind. This has been probably the best year of my life with all the ups & downs. Describing and have experianced it as just PERFECT, nothing less and definately nothing more......

Well, I decided to start blogging after basically calling it peer pressure.....everyone I knew had a blog and like me, I also had to have one. So many stories, thoughts, feelings, pictures and just special moments were put on paper to basically define me as who I am today and I could go back and look how I have progressed.....To be quite honest, this is who I am today and I do feel very happy of being myself and what I have achieved during 2005.

2005 isn't over yet, but this will definately be my last blog.......for this year at least! It still amaze me with what speed this year raced to it's end, but it makes me smile is to I know that there will be another, soon. If I have to summarise 2005 and explain what I have learned in only a couple phrases, it will be:

1. Experiance (good or bad) builds character......
2. What you truly love might not be what you truly need......
3. Being yourself just dictates your happiness......
4. Change is good, because you learn much more about yourself then you would have otherwise....
5. Life is not about what you have, but definately about who you are and what you believe in......
6. Taking that first step towards your goal is crucial for your own level of success......
7. Worrying about tomorrow supresses the enlightment of today.......
8. Deviding reality and dreams leads to open mindedness.........
9. Believing in yourself is the key to success........
10. Real friends are forever, it doesn't matter where they are.......
11. Making the decision now is better than living the problem later......
12. PHOENIX is awesome beer.....

For me, this was quite a short paragraph, but my experiance of 2005 will live on forever. I'm not afraid what tomorrow will throw at me, what I'm afraid off is that I might not have accomplish what I intended for yesterday. Time moves on and you can never make up that time...it is gone forever, so live the moment being yourself and you could be sure that you will be happy at the end of the day.

For me 2005 was a year of decisions.....some of them were wrong desicions and some of them were good, but I stood with that decision and I can honestly say I'm still around and I will live another day. Fortunately I had people to guided me into a direction of self satisfaction and I will and can not say that there was one moment that I wanted to do it differently. It made me who I am today and made me believe that our paths are planned for us ahead. The desicions we make determines how we going to live our life.....I guess my motto from now on will be.......Jump on the HAPPY wagon and live the moment, because yesterday is gone and tomorrow is still only a vision. What do you have to loose otherwise? What?

I definately guarantee you all that 2005 has taught us more then we bargained for. Why would 2006 be any different? It is now the time to say thank you for being with those who makes us happy. My dear friends, Christams is 1 week away.......

Enjoy it, you all deserve too. New year is 14 days away, then you have to saddle up because life will take you through another journey that we can not bargain for. It's really all what life is about.....Enjoy the journey while it lasts....No regrets!

MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all.......

PS: Thanks for joining me on my journey through 2005, but hold on, 2006 will blow our minds away. Bru loves y'all!


One of our Diving spots and an island just off the mainland about 1.5km with NO inhabitants....And you can go rent a boat and spend a day with someone SPECIAL on the island....and drinking & BBQ are alowed (There is nothing else to do!)

World, meet my new diving friend....Mr. Crabby Muffy!

15 December 2005

Christmas Wish List!

Well, it's that time of the year again. For me, na, there is not really anything I wish for. Just really lucky to be around and do what I do. See the world and meet new people with different stories to tell, but here is something I have actually forgotten to tell you guys when I was with you on the island. I can not believe how this has slipped my mind. So, this is how it goes.

In Johannesburg (for those who don't know where this is, it is the capital for business in Africa and situated in the Gauteng Province in South Africa and funny enough, it is also the city where I stay.) there is this Radio station that really rocks, but much more famous because of their incredible presenters. They do have good music, but much more better with their talk shows. Ah, the station is known as Highveld Stereo (94.7FM in Johannesburg). To cut a very long story short, they do this talkshow (this time of year) starting at 7am in the morning all the way to 9am (I think-haven't been back there during XMAS in a while) and it's called the CHRISTMAS WISH LIST.

How it works is that someone will contact the station telling them about some weird and sad story like a child that needs desperately surgery or would die and they do not have enough finances to pay for the operation. Catch my drift? It's like mostly real unprivilege children, dying children or just anyone who does not have enough money or food to have a good Christmas and then the Radio Station will organise for some sponsorship or funding to help out depending on the circumstances. Now my loyal readers, this is real tear pulling shit especially if you stuck in traffic on the Ben Schoeman Highway between Pretoria and Johannesburg. It's really so sad, when you are driving like 10km/hour in traffic and you suddenly notice like everyone is crying in their cars. You just see tissues and make-up all over the show, but it is sometimes really just so fucking sad and you feel just sooo great if something good comes from it very sad situation. Even though you didn't do anything and you hear a very good ending to a very sad sad story. Eish......Goosebumps........

That is what make South Africans so special. They are very hard headed, but they really care about others when push comes to shuff.........I feel very lucky to be a Suth African, really, I do! The sad part is that I just found out the last show was held yesterday, but they have posted some of the good wishes for this year. So, if you guys want to look into it, here is the link below:


All and all, I just miss to be around my own people for once and miss to be in a vibe where it feels really special. You guys know what I mean....That place where people just appreciate who you are and what you are trying to accomplish. That place where you find support in times of need and sympathy in times of sadness. That place where people do not care who & what you are, but simply for being there. The place where all your love one's are....The place I call HOME. Ahhh, I guess it's just that time of year.......I hope for those of you who are going on holiday now, I do wish you a merry Christams and an incredible 2006....This might just be the year you all have been waiting for so long. For the others, my official best wishes will have to wait for a week or so.

I just would like to make a special announcement......My beloved mother turns tomorrow the 16th December 2005 the BIG 50. Ma, die lewe is nie altyd maanskyn en rose nie, maar wees tog gelukkig dat daar so baie mense om ma is wat werklik bly is dat ma daar vir hulle is. Ek is defnitief een van hulle en ek glo dat daar nog baie goeie jare vorentoe is. Ek mag dalk nie daar wees in vlees nie, maar in gees, defnitief. Ek wens ma hartlik geluk met die groot 50 en soos hulle se, die lewe begin nou eers. Veels geluk ouvrou en mag die Here jou nog baie jare lank seen soos wat hy reeds gedoen het. Weet net dat ek altyd daar by julle sal wees en ek is moerse dankbaar vir als.....my skamele 26 jare teen ma se 50......Ek mis julle almal baie en ek is lief vir julle almal. Groete my ou girl!

Guys, have an incredible evening.


14 December 2005

I Pretend - Life of Agony

Great song with a lot of soul and distortion! For those who loves the music with hard banging distortion peddles and banging the strings...Ultimately a great song and definately one of my favourites!

In the stillness of the night
My eyes are closed
My mouth is wide
I could see her face
Her beautifull hair
I could recognize
She looks at me cold
She probably don't know who I am
Mommy it's me
It's Keith
You had me back when
But sometimes i like to pretend
That she knows me
That she holds me
I guess I can't
Because she doesn't know who I am
My mind it's dreaming
God it's so misleading
Do you think it's 'cause I've grown old
Is it true that what I was told
You cried to leave me
You know I know it's not your fault
You had a husband who was selfish and cold
Believe me I know
Now I hear you used to treat me cold
You disappeard and left me all alone
I'm sure you didn't know right from wrong
'cause both of you were always getting stoned.

13 December 2005

God, this was the morning after!

Put Me Under Pressure!

Heading that perfectly fit my profile at the moment! God, what happened with this year? It seems like yesterday that I've met Jess and the German team at Kenzibar. A time that best described me as just going out and having just plain ordinary fun and getting just so fucking wasted. It was exactly one year ago when we had to take our client out for the Year End function and afterwards headed to Kenzi and Buddah. Man, that morning Dirk phoned me so that I shouldn't forget to pick him up for work and it was already 6am and I was still at Buddah. Look at the picture above, a perfect explanation of the morning after....jesus.....

Anyway, this year flew by like the Concorde to New York from London and 6000 British Pounds later. What happened? All that I know is that all my friends I met are now spreaded around the world, me moving up in the food chain in my company and sitting in a even darker Africa. My life changed so incredibly and I have seen so much more than I would have back in South Africa. Meeting all those so interesting people and those not so interesting people and experiance all their independant stories.....from East to West.......

I just can go on and on about everything, but the fact of the matter is that the fucking year is over and I hope another great year will be ahead. God, so much I still want to accomplish.......finish this plant, diving, safari's, my visit to Germany (which is probably everyday in my mind) and just basically living out 2006 to it's maximum....that's all!

But for now, I still have to get this one totally over......A trip Mwanza through Arusha this weekend and next weekend chillin with my friends and family......god, I just can not wait. Crashing drunk at some friends house after breaking the world record for the most beer consumption during one week and just enjoying the sight of South African ladies in their bikini's....ahhhh.....I love this holiday vibe! So, before I get ahead of myself and I should just try and impress my contract's manager (who by the way also read this blog) by saying that "baas", there are 1.5 weeks of real hard work still ahead. Bru, forget it.....You know me....typical South African by saying....Fuck you....It's holiday time and you will struggle to get the work out of me......Ach toch Dirk, jy weet mos net ek terg jou net......PARTY Brothers.....My philosphy of life......

Anyway, just could not controld that party vibe right now......Probably got to go and kiss ass from tomorrow again (which is by the way a public holiday in Tanzania again.....African Election), but I will be a great slave and work so that you can pay me over time....GET IT?

Anyway, I hope y'all will have an excellent week and please I beg y'all......GET IN THE PARTY MOOD!


11 December 2005

Call it just Me!

Well, it's 3:15am and I just came from a party where I met up with some South African people. Funny how we all just stick to one another, no matter where in the world we might find ourselves. Like they say, we are all one of a kind.

I think they should ban the internet from drunking net surfers.....I might regret tomorrow morning what I've posted, but you you know what.....fuck it. It's my thoughts right now and that is why I've started this blog or blogging anyway. We had a real nice time with a good couple of people that are really in a the true sense of the word, good people. But I couldn't help noticing how much I really do miss my friends out there. yeah guys, I really do miss you guys badly where ever you all are. I'm thinking of Anne, Uma, Jess, Timo, Nachi, Joel, Jorn, Kerstin, Wolle, Kevin , Lars & last of all, the girl that changed my world of thinking and my heart forever. You know who you are and I do miss you tremendously. Why, I do not know. The sad part of this posting is that I'm really drunk and focussing on how to write and think English perfectly, but I guess I'm struggling a bit and that is because it's not my native language at all.

Mostly, I just would like to say I miss you guys so much and to make things even worse is that I'm listening to Streets of Philidelphia from Bruce Springsteen. Edina, I do miss you so much and I hope you are doin just OK. For what it's worth, I still do LOVE you and I do not know when this shit will end. I really hope I haven't said too much already, but guys, I hope you are all doin just fine and that you are all just so happy.

I miss you all and may the South Afican force be with you all.


08 December 2005

Weekend Info!

Eish......It's almost Friday and the week has just gone by so fast. Almost the same as the rest of the year and we are one week closer to 2006. I can't belief.......Anyway,

Tomorrow is a public holiday here in Tanzania and I will attemp to go cross country and drive across Tanzania in just 2 days. Well, it's only 1200km, but do remember it's African roads and drivers as well, soooo........

I will leave tomorrow morning at 6am and will go all the way up to Arusha where I hopefully will see Mount Kilimanjaro and stay over for the night. On Saturday morning I will attemp to drive across the Sarengethi and spend the day driving through wild nature and hopefully get to see a lot of animals. I will stay over hopefully just outside the reserve's gate where it is much cheaper. To be quite honest, DIrk fucking warned me if I spend the companies money rediculously and if so, this will be my last "company trip". OK Baas....! Sunday I will hopefully reach Mwanza on the shores of Lake Victoria and I will leave the car there and return by air and be in Dar on Sunday evening. If everything goes well, I think this will be definately be a trip to remember for a very long time.

Other news.....Ja, we are 2.5 weeks away from Christmas and New Year's Eve is just 6 Days later. With gratefull thanks to Dirk and Degremont, I will go back to South Africa for a week and 2 days. Reunite with the people I haven't spent time with for so long and maybe 2006 will be my year. I already have plans for New Year's Eve and I really think the time in South Africa will be a jol. Party is up at my buddies house, Wayne...(Uma, you have met him before on your return from Tanzania at my house in F&F-remember). He was actually one of my many bosses back in South Africa and now that I'm in Tanzania........Well he still pays my salary, so technically speaking he is still one of my many bosses. We will have sooooo much fun....ah, I can't wait. I really do not want to know how I will feel on my flight back to Dar on the 1st.....Eish......Any advice guys?

So, this is the plan of action for this weekend. I hope all of you guys will enjoy your weekends and have so much fun. Anne, I hope we can SKYPE again on Sunday night...say 8pm german time?

Miss you all and have fun.......


Thursday Morning Quicky!

There was a German, an Italian and SIPHO on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:
1. to be shot
2. to be hung
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head."Boom, he was dead instantly.

The Italian said, "Just hang me."Snap! he was dead.

Then it was SIPHO'S' turn, and he said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and SIPHO fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy. Then SIPHO said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so h ard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.Finally the warden said, "What's wrong with you?"Then SIPHO replied, "Eish you guys are so stupid… I'm wearing a condom."

The best resolution for 2006!

Before you set off to conquer the world, set out to improve yourself. Build character and discipline on the inside, and you'll be able to handle any goal or challenge on the outside.

When you set for yourself an outer goal, be sure to also create an inner goal. Fully become, within yourself, the person who can reach that goal in the outside world, and you will.

When you feel the need to change others, seek instead to change yourself. Meet people where they are, with true understanding and acceptance, and the relationships you build will bear sweet fruit.

The person you are on the inside determines all the things you become on the outside. Nurture your inner life, and your whole world will prosper.

The solid physical reality of your life is built upon the quality of your innermost thoughts and feelings. Use every opportunity to give power and positive purpose to those thoughts, and every corner of your life will benefit.

In each moment, in every situation, seek to build lasting, genuine value on the inside. And that value will quickly spread outward from you, as far as you can see.

Believe is all about faith. Change your world and your world will be changed forever.........

07 December 2005

Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls

I'm trying to tell you something 'bout my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously; it's only life after all

Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrapped my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it; I'm crawling on your shore

I went to the doctor,
I went to the mountains
I looked to the children,
I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for some definitive,
the closer I am to fine,
The closer I am to fine

I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a B grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent 4 years prostrate to the higher mind, got my paper and I was free

I went to the doctor,
I went to the mountains
I looked to the children,
I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for some definitive,
the closer I am to fine,
The closer I am to fine

I stopped by the bar at 3 A.M.
To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
And I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as I'd been the night before, and I went in seeking clarity

I went to the doctor,
I went to the mountains
I looked to children,
I drank from the fountain
We go to the doctor,
We go to the mountains
We look to the children,
We drink from the fountain
We go to the bible,
We go through the workout
We read up on revival,
We stand up for the lookout
There's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for some definitive,
The closer I am to fine,
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine

06 December 2005

My Bru!

A coloured guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorcedhis wife, lost his children, lost his job.

He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it. He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing, "You are thereason I don't have a wife", second bottle, "You are the reason I don'thave my children", third bottle, "You are the reason I lost my job".

He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer. He takes the bottle, puts it aside and says, "Staan djy een kant my bru (You stand on the side), I know you were not involved".

05 December 2005

A Thought to Remember!

Well, it seems like I'm realing enjoying updating my blog or that I'm just bored. Now, this was definately not the case. I've heard something that I really never could explain before, but now it makes maybe a little bit of sense and I think I need to share it with you guys.

I've heard it during watching a movie, but it seems that it could be really true and this is the best way I can explain it. We all have loved so much people before. If it was family, friends or maybe just someone special. This is based basically on the LOVE for someone special or very close to yourself. During the phases of a relationship, people grow closer & fond of one another and learn basically to love one another. If the relationship don't work out for some weird reason, we always try to fight back and realise that you love this person. But sometimes people argue that true love doesn't exist and just maybe (I think) the terminology was used incorrectly in this context.

I think LOVE could be classified in 3 levels, namely:
- To LOVE someone, or
- To have BIG LOVE, or
- To have GREAT LOVE.......

Now, I think the first level of LOVE is basically that you will loose this love in just 6 months after the break-up. The second LOVE (BIG LOVE) is the type of LOVE that you will loose in 2 years and lastly the GREAT LOVE is the type of LOVE that you will never loose at all. You will never know at what level of LOVE you have untill you loose this specific type of LOVE during any given period. The only way how I could really try and define the ultimately LOVE (GREAT LOVE) is when you meet this person for the first time, it's basically LOVE at first sight and I think that this type of LOVE is the one type that can really, and I mean really break a person if it doesn't work out.

To try and define the other types are quite easy I think. To use a simple example. When you go into a club and you meet someone very interresting, but not LOVE at first sight, you grow fond and maybe eventually you learn to LOVE this person because of spending time together, growing fond of one another or maybe because of what the other person feel and will do for you, but it'll never be the type of LOVE where it will last forever. Time will kill it for definate. The problem is when you probably met great love and it didn't work out for some shit or unexplained reason and you are trying to fight it, you could end up damaging the relationship even more or even damage yourself. But at the end of the day it doesn't really matter what happens, you will always love this person. I think it will be better to let it go and if it comes back, you know it's yours to keep.

What do you guys think?

04 December 2005

The Day After Yesterday!

Well, it's back to reality. I guess being left alone with the realm of my mind is not the best thing in the world. I have to admit it was a well deserved break, but a couple will need to follow to put me back on my quest for fulfillment. A mouth full, yeah I know.

I decided to follow the route of the adventurer and take the trip via the Ferry, but it will definately be the last trip on the Ferry. Next time my dear friend, it will by air. Actually time, value and the patience ratio, by air will definately be the way out. At least I can say I have done the experiance and I got the T-shirt....just an add on on my adventure list. To be quite honest, I definately expected more from Zanzibar. But I also have to admit that staying in Mauritius, did in fact spoil me to such an extent that I can only think that there could only be a very small margin ever for satisfaction after the life of Mauritius. To sum Zanzibar up in only a few sentances......

It's very African....Dirty, poor and no infra structure. The roads are definately better than in Dar Es Salaam, but the same driving mentallity. Stone Town, small and flooded by locals that terrorises the visitors to make a quick buck and maybe take full advantage of the opportunity of the narrow passages. I was warned ahead of time to rather walk alone and make it clear to the "beach boys" that less than a referred guide will be unexceptable. So.....Not a good experiance at all. The good thing about Stone Town is that you can see and feel the history in the city, but I guess it could not be comparred to cities like Rome. Another interresting fact that came to ear was that the lead singer of Queen, Freddie Mercury was born in Zanzibar. After seeing the locals and the picture up in a restaurant that was named after him (Mercury's on the bay), he actually did look like a bit of ARABIC. A gay one I might add!

The most of my time I spent at the local bar at the hotel (motel if I can call that). The bar carried the hospitality of South African influence. All the waiters wore rugby jersey's based on the SPRINGBOK (SA Rugby) jersey, but with the difference of the main sponsor "ZANZIBAR" and the clothing manufacturer "ONE WAY".....The alcohol was there, DART board and a pool table. On Saturday night I met up with a South African couple that did a tour of 1 month through Tanzania (from Arusha, Serengeti, Kilimanjaro and ended up in Zanzibar). We did enjoy the evening in real South African spirit....Drinking, talking Shit, playing pool for 8 hours long and a lot of infirmation exchanges about careers and just almost about everything possible. Just Plain Good Old South African Fun......

Returned Sunday afternoon, with a little patience and not too much of energy. I'm glad that I did do the tour, but my next stop will be Pemba Island. I heard that this is the best preserved diving spot in the world from various sources.....So, Pemba here I come.

PS: Check out my photoblog......I'm quite impressed with my undevelloped talent.....

Wishfull Thinking!

Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic. Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is that the picnic site is ten miles away So, it takes them ten days to get there.
When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Roy give me the bottle opener" "I didn't bring it" says Roy "I thought you packed it" Mick gets worried, He turns to Andy, "Did you bring the bottle opener?" Naturally Andy didn't bring it.

So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener. Mick and Andy beg Roy to go back for it. But he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.

So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace. 20 days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Andy are starving, but a promise is a promise. Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Roy pops up from behind a rock and shouts,